


The Rise Of Zoe Murphy

by YWBFound



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Cutesy, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Harm, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-25 22:19:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14986784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YWBFound/pseuds/YWBFound
Summary: This is mainly a cutesy little fic I really like it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm excited for feedback for this. I love this its so c u t e

Zoe’s pissed

 

Zoe Murphy is fucking angry

 

Zoe Murphy is angry at herself

 

She's angry at herself because she misses him

 

She fucking misses Evan Hansen

 

This can't be. He ruined her life. Why would she miss him.

 

But she couldn't help it. She misses all of him. She missed the way his soft green eyes would sparkle in the sun. She missed the way his lips would part while he slept and he just looked so relaxed. She missed his the comforting things he would whisper in her ear when it all became to overwhelming. Fuck, she missed him.

 

No. She couldn't miss him. He fucking ruined her life. She can't go a day without hearing her name or Connors all because of Evan fucking Hansen. He didn't deserve to have her miss him. He was a monster. Why did she have to miss him.

 

He always stared at her in the hallways with these sad, guilty eyes and all she wanted to do is kiss him and hug him and tell him it was okay. But it wasn't fucking okay.

 

Zoe started drinking about 3 months ago. She was a junior so it wasn't very uncommon for people her age to drink, but she wouldn't just get tipsy, she would get blackout drunk almost every day. It made the pain go away, so why wouldn't she.

 

Around a month later she started smoking. Cigarettes at first, but then she progressed to weed. Her parents didn't know though. If they ever found out it would ruin the Murphy's. If she ruins what little they have left it'll be over for them, and she just can't do that. So she tells them she is going out to study when really she is somewhere in a ditch fading in and out of consciousness.

 

But it's all okay. Because she isn't the only one suffering. Evan Hansen comes to school every day with tear stains down his face and cannot talk to anyone without having a panic attack. Good. He deserves it.

 

That's what she thought at first. Until she witnessed what happens during one of them. Zoe decided she was gonna follow him outside during one of his episodes because she wanted to give him a piece of her mind. She was also fucking stoned so her mindset wasn't the best.

 

She followed him to the side of the building and saw a flash of light. It was fire. Odd, she didn't know hansen smoked. Not that she cared though. She couldn't care less about what he did to his lungs. Fuck him. As she got closer though she noticed he wasn't smoking anything. When she was right behind him she noticed what he was doing. He was burning himself.

 

His arms were always hidden by dark, baggy clothes so she could never see what was going on. His arms were covered in burns and cuts. It made her heart break. She never meant to make him feel like this. Zoe sat and talked to Evan until the school day was over. He was doing horrible. He started punishing himself for the pain he caused their family. Any time someone would mention Zoe or he saw her crying in the hallway, he added a new cut or burn to his collection, because he caused her pain on the inside, so he was gonna feel it on the outside.

 

Zoe decided that she was gonna give Evan another chance. Not as a couple, but as friends. They actually had a lot in common. They talked and laughed over fast food and board games. They also decided to motivate each other to stop harming themselves. They never talked about the Connor project though. That was something unsaid but they both knew that it would cause tension. So they talked about school, and their parents, and tv shows. And honestly Zoe wouldn't have it any other way.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

 

They've been friends for over 5 months now. Evan is in college and Zoe is starting her senior year. But they always hang out at least three times a week. Since Evan is going to a community college near by it is easy to keep in touch. Even if they can't see each other in person they facetime each other cracking up over stupid jokes until 3 in the morning. Zoe was so thankful to have him as her best friend. She didn't completely forgive him, how could she? But it was enough for her to still love him.

 

About a month later they decided that they were going to start dating again. It was a mutual decision so there wasn't any weird are we dating are we not moments. Then dating was basically the same as them being friends. They still stuffed their faces with French fries while playing Go Fish on Evan's couch. They still built pillow forts in Zoe’s basement and fought to the death with pool noodles. And Zoe loved it. She was in love with her best friend.

 

Zoe's happy.

 

Zoe Murphy was so fucking happy.

 

She was so happy for the first time since her brother died.

 

Sometimes she wonders why she forgave him.

 

Sometimes she wonders if he is gonna hurt her again.

 

But that's something to think about in the future. Now she could think of everything she loved about him. She loved the way his freckles looked like they were painted on by the sun. She loves how he tries to dismiss his soft blush every time she says I love you. She loves how his smile can light up a dark room. She loves all of him. God, she fucking loves him. 

 

At first loving Evan Hansen was also sometimes a struggle. He would distance himself when he felt anxious. He pushed her away during a panic attack. But then he began to let her in. He let her see him at his worst. Which made Zoe feel like he trusted her more than anyone in the world. She would help him breathe and get him out of difficult situations. And he loved her for that.

 

Zoe Murphy was at the peak of her happiness when she graduated college. Because they were living in a house together. And they were engaged. Evan was working as a biochemist and Zoe was on her way to becoming a psychiatrist. She originally wanted to become a band director but after Connors death, learning about Evans anxiety, and her own drinking and smoking problems, she wanted to be able to talk to kids and adults about their problems and help them find alternative methods from cutting or drinking. 

 

Evan proposed to her in a way she would never ever forget. One day she came home with several grocery bags in her hands. As she was calling Evan to come help her with groceries, she noticed something in their living room. The room was filled with her favorite type of flower, lilies. There was candle lights and wine at the table. A record player was playing 'Can't help falling in love' which was the song she would sing to him when he was feeling anxious. It calmed them both down. In the middle of the table was a piece of paper. She unfolded it and it read:

'Dear Evan Hansen,

Today is going to be a good day and here's why. You're going to go to have dinner with your beautiful, amazing girlfriend. You're going to hold her hand and think about how you're never going to hurt her again. Because you love her. Fuck, you love her so much. You love how she sings softly to you while she plays her ukulele. You love how excited she gets when she wins at Mario Kart. You love everything about her.

That's why, Zoe if you're reading this, I want you to look behind you.

Love,

Hopefully your fiance'

 

Behind her was her amazing boyfriend. Wearing a suit and tie sitting one one knee, ring in his hand. She immediately said yes and hugged him tight. He cared. He cared so much about her. They were young and in love, and Zoe was beyond happy and this point. Evan Hansen was something special. Evan Hansen was her home.

 

God, she was happy to be home.


	2. Becoming a Hansen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is so cute I'm d y i n g. They get married and cute stuff happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS! ITS SO CUTE! IM WEEPING.

Evan Hansen may be a nervous wreck but that guy can decorate. When they had first gotten engaged he made a binder filled with color patterns, centerpieces, and other table decor. This binder was split alphabetically in each color scheme.

 

In the end Zoe and Evan decided on having their wedding at the autumn smiles orchard. It would be a white, rose gold, and peach colored wedding. Evan planned the entertainment, the waiters, the decor, and the chefs. Zoe has never been so impressed with a human being in her life. Not once did he stutter on the phone while talking to these people.

 

There wedding was a success! Not only was it incredibly beautiful, but Zoe secretly convinced Jared and Alana to go to the wedding. Jared, Evan, and Alana were not on the best terms since high school, but they were excited to hear they were invited. They decided to forget about the past for a night and just have fun. Jared and Evan ended up exchanging their new numbers and were going to get drinks sometime. Evan was so happy to have his best (family) friend back.

 

When they spoke their vows, everyone at that ceremony must have shed a tear. Zoe had to stop the whole ceremony for at least 5 minutes because she was crying so hard. If you were there, you would have too. His vows were..

 

“Zoe Murphy, 6 years ago today I would have never thought we would be standing here doing this. I never thought I could even get you to talk to me, let alone marry me. But here we are. Standing here on this Beautiful August evening. You are the love of my life.

  From the moment i first saw you i knew you were my soulmate. I knew that you were the person i wanted to spend my life with. Nothing ever went the best for me so I denied this ever happening. But today we are here. With our broken pieces back together and stronger than ever. You, Zoe Murphy, are the light of my life.

      Zoe, I-I have no idea where i would be without you. You are my sun. You are my moon. You are the oxygen I breathe. You are my everything. I am so lucky to be here making you my lovely wife.

   You are my lover and my teacher. My model and my accomplice. You are my true counterpart. And until the day I die, I will love you, and hold you, and honor you. I will encourage you and cherish you. I am your biggest fan and nothing will ever change that.

    I give you my hand and my heart as a sanctuary of love and peace. And right here, right now, I pledge my love, faith, devotion, and honor as I join my life to yours.”

 

Zoe stayed glassy eyed for the entire time the ceremony was going on. When they had both said I do they hit the dance floor. She placed her head on his chest and he whispered soft ‘i love yous’ in her ear. Right then and there she felt the safest than she has ever felt. Their wedding may have been the best thing that ever happened to her.

 

And their honeymoon? Well, I can't go into all of the details. Lets try and keep it PG. However, I can tell you that it was one of the best times of their lives. They backpacked all across Greece. Evan took the most beautiful pictures of Zoe and she took the funniest pictures of Evan. After all their hardships she knew it was worth it to see his goofy smile every morning for the rest of her life.

 

Zoe still wished Connor were there. Of course she did. But she believed in her heart that he was with them somehow. Whether that be in her heart, in her parents hearts, or as a scary ass ghost in a suit and tie. Either way, nothing could stop her from being happy.

 

A year later they bought a house. A big, white, shiny new house. With a big green back yard and a beautiful cold toned garden. Evan was so proud of them for getting this house. It was honestly the most surreal experiences in his life. He spent his life crammed in a 900 square foot house. So being here in this two story beautiful, clean, $589,000 house was crazy.

 

It was pretty average for Zoe, seeing as her childhood house was a bit bigger than this, but it didn't stop her from being excited. A whole house for such a little person was so cool to her. And Evan had already decorated it to look beautiful. Gold lamps, gold mirrors, gold pots for plants, gold kitchenware, gold everything. He also had white furniture along with house plants EVERYWHERE. It was the definition of a millennial house.

 

But they loved it. They spent their time playing board games with friends and dancing along to Britney Spears at 1 AM. They had family dinners every Thursday and game nights every other Friday. Their jobs may be a little hectic at some points but coming home to their relaxing home and cuddling with each other made it worth it.

 

Once they were settled in their house completely they decides to get a puppy. They spent days searching for places to buy puppies before one caught their eyes. It was a tiny white chow chow puppy. They immediately called the person giving it away and scheduled when they were going to pick it up.

 

The dog ended up only being $68 dollars. They had bought toys, treats, food, and dishes for the dog. They had bought a cage and a dog bed also but they decided that the dog was going to sleep with them. Zoe was practically beaming when they picked him up. He already had his shots and was fixed, so they were relieved that they didn't have to go do that.

 

After having him for a few days and playing with him all the time they had finally decided a name. Bandit. They tied a red bandana around his neck and decided it was the cutest thing they had ever seen. They decided that name while Zoe was putting a picture of him on her Instagram.

Zoe loved her perfect family. Her dog and her husband were all she needed to be happy at the moment. Except maybe a kid… They discussed them having kids for a few months after getting the dog and decided that they would try. After a few attempts it was official. They were having a baby.

 

Zoe was perfectly fine with her maternity leave. She was happy staying home all day with the dog. It was a little boring but she always found something to do. The thing she absolutely hated was the diet. No wine. No processed cheese. No deli meat. She couldn't even have a fucking sandwich. And no ibuprofen which sucked when she had a migraine. Evan was always supportive of her, but quite frankly she wanted this baby out.

 

Evan had never been a little frightened of Zoe until she was pregnant. It was like her claws were out at all times and she was ready to scratch. He loved her dearly though and was willing to put up with her and her devil baby inside of her.

 

When they were finally at the point where they could find out the gender they declined. They decided that they were going to let each other choose a name for a gender and then keep it a secret until the baby comes. The person who has the gender of the baby gets to choose the name.

 

Their baby shower was a fucking great time. It was filled with games, baby puns, and drinking (not for Zoe sorry honey you get water sucks to suck). They got amazing gifts and everyone seemed to be having a great time. Larry may or may not have climbed on the drinks table drunkenly and tried to do a Backflip, but that was something to talk about another day.

 

Both Evan and Zoe's mom took them aside and talked to them about how to parent. They both sometimes looked at each other and rolled their eyes but mostly it was fantastic advice. At some point they both ended up crying and hugging their mothers. They were so excited to become parents.

 

Finally, the time was here. Possibly at the worst time ever but it was here. Zoe and Evan were enjoying some mini golf when Evan noticed a little puddle underneath Zoe. Shit. Fuck fuck fuck not now not while they play mini golf. When they both knew Evan was trying to herd Zoe to the car. Of course, with her being her, she had to hit her ball before she left. She got a hole in one and Evan was so shocked he choked on his own spit.

 

When they got to the hospital they both said something along the lines of let the best player win. They were excited to see who got to name the baby. Zoe had boy and Evan had girl. After 6 hours of labor they found out the gender. A girl. She would be upset that she didn't win but with her baby girl in her hands she couldn't care less. She knew whatever her name was she would love her so very much.

 

“So, what's her name?” Zoe asks, looking down at her new favorite person in the world.

 

“Lily. After your favorite flower.” He replies while he blushes because she connected her hand to his finger.

 

“It's perfect. Absolutely perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Leave a comment letting me know if you liked this or not!

**Author's Note:**

> I low-key hope you guys like it if it sucks imma be sad. Leave some comments plEAse


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